dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,

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Well, given the last day or two's subject matter on my livejournal, I've been working on a 100 Days post about my sexuality. I was originally going to put it up somewhere in the eighties, but given recent subject matter, now is probably the right time for it. I was going to take more time over it too, but then I was originally going to do the "Inability to make a move" post much later on, but it seemed natural to do it when I was dealing with the whole caring-too-much angle.

Generally my rule of thumb on these is to write it in one sitting, edit as I go. But the one on my sexuality is a long post. Very long. So I *may* have it up tomorrow. I'll see how I go. I've already spent a couple of hours on it today, but it's an important one for me to get right.

Also, I am thinking about doing the poll on who wants to shag me. Though I will broaden its range to general non-sexual intimacy as well, rather than just a "who wants to pork Dan," poll.

Many of you have heard the story I've told about the girl I've loved since the age of fifteen, and we didn't find out that we both shared those feelings until ten years later, when we were both in relationships. I use it as a cautionary tale and always say in regards to that one - If you love someone, really love them, tell them. Because even if it turns out that they don't feel the same way about you, at least you know. Not knowing or finding out too late that someone feels the same way is simply horrible. And even though we've never gotten together, it does give those times when we're around each other a special joy. She loves me, I love her, and we may not be together but we both know the depth of the other's feeling. And in some ways, that's enough.

Well, I'm sort of figuring that it's better to know. It's all very well to be kind of shy, awkward, embarrassed, and extremely paranoid, but given that we're 8 months down the track and still don't know if what I've got will go away, stay like this or turn more serious or debilitating, I figure I may as well try to find out who fancies me. Doesn't mean anything is going to happen, but it might be nice to be able to open up and talk about it.

Still, I would be lying if I said the idea doesn't totally freak me out.

That said, please feel free to volunteer good wordings for questions and/or answers for the sex poll. Or the beard poll :)

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Tags: love & hate, poll, sex

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