I love to tell a story. I really do. I seem to have a knack for it. This post was originally going to be about writing, but though I do write, I'm not sure I'm a writer. I don't have the discipline except when a story has been commissioned or when something hits me that I just have to write down.
I have a thousand stories in my head, and every way I want to tell them seems to cumbersome. I started writing as a way to tell stories. I started acting as a way to tell stories. 3D graphics is a way to tell stories. Skeletor/Hordak is a way to tell stories. But it all seems so cumbersome.
But I love it, the twists and turns, coming up with a new way of presenting an old idea or turning it on its head. Or even just a straightforward tale. I don't want to write movie scripts and television shows to make money, though that'd be nice, I only want to share my stories with as wide an audience as possible.
Now I don't actually hate toilet paper per se, though I do have a sensitive botty. No, what I hate is what people do with it. No, not my bottom, the paper, ya dirty buggers. What I hate is the masses of dunny paper you get at road-side stops.
Pull up at almost any rest stop on any Australian road, wander off into the bushes for a leak, and there it is. Tonnes of it. And it's everywhere. Lightly soiled toilet tissue. And the vast majority of the blame here falls to the ladies. They have a pee, they wipe, either with toilet paper or tissues, then they drop the paper! They leave it there, just sitting around on the ground.
How would they feel if someone left wads of date roll around their backyard? Probably about as ticked off as I feel with them leaving it in my backyard, and the backyard and habitat of every other person in the country. I would be more willing to forgive it, though only a teensy, tiny little bit, if it weren't for the fact that most rest stops have perfectly good rubbish bins!
But no, can't go carrying mountain money twenty metres to the bin... don't want to carry it, because it's dirty. So we'll just leave the fucking stuff where we drop it so anyone or thing can trod through it! I'll tell you this for nothing - not enough people suffer with tinea to make it worth the mess!
It's the same selfish attitude that goes with some smokers leaving their butts on the ground and emptying their ashtrays into carparks. People who wouldn't drop their rubbish in the street, will leave wet bumph sitting around in otherwise beautiful areas.
Now look, if you have a big dump, it's way more understandable that you don't wish to carry a wad of poo tickets to the bins. But that's still no excuse not to bury it, as you should have done with Mr Hanky. It's very rare you'll find yourself in a place where the dirt is so hard you can't dig a small hole. If it turns out you can't, then you can't, but you can at least cover the mess with plant matter or dirt.
Now I know most of the people reading this know better. I'm sure most of you would try to be more careful and considerate.
Because if you're not and I find out, I'll friggin' well rub your nose in it!