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100 days of Love and Hate - Day 13 [Sep. 12th, 2006|09:01 am]
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[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

After a break to spend time with Sharon while she was in Melbourne, and a flat out day yesterday, I'm back!

One of the things that I sometimes wonder is, with all the little projects I've worked on, with all the cool ideas that I thought I could give life to, have I shot my wad? Is that it? Has all the good stuff been wasted and I won't have any more original ideas.

I'm a creative person. Always have been. Worked on a bunch of different projects that never went anywhere. The two biggest to date were the animated Doctor Who project, and another smaller one called Redback. I had lots of seemingly cool ideas for both, developed these, worked them... and of course, both projects eventually died.

The thing is, at the time, I had filled them with ideas that had never been done on tv. Doctor Who-wise the first and second seasons of the animated series would have featured several stories that hadn't been done before - Doctor's companion ends up in a time when a beloved parent is still alive and she wants to save them; the cunning and lethality of a lone dalek is shown; end of season one would have been huge dalek war; a cyber story that featured a female character that we'd gotten to know transformed into a cyberman, and talks to the characters so they have the realisation of what's to come; the far future where the last pureblood human is the Doctor's companion; and a story featuring elements of the second season finale.
If the third season of Doctor Who features the Sontaran/Rutan war, I will cry.

Redback was meant to be a sci-fi comedy, the name came from the look of the living ship. Some friends were trying to get this off the ground, brought me on board and I went nuts with it, planning out a story arcs and stories for five years, just because I can't help myself. Of the ideas that hadn't been done in an ongoing series before, we had - the living ship; an insect/human war; the ship getting pregnant; giving birth to smaller, heavily armed baby ship; the flashback episode where most of the material is stuff we haven't seen before and the stories change as the characters argue about details and even make stuff up; and a few others, I'd have to find the notes.

It's been interesting over the last decade or two, slowly watching all my 'cool, original' ideas get used. Most of them have been used well, I have no problem with that. Just annoying when I know that if the other shows had gotten off the ground, I was there first. In the case of Redback, almost a decade ahead of the others. It feels like I'm living in my own past victories, except they aren't really victories if the only version that exists is me telling people.

And I can't help but worry that if I were to get a show going now, it's too late. I've done my dash, had all my wild, out-there ideas. Whatever I do now will simply be ordinary, and if I choose to use some of my old ideas, naturally people would say it had already been done by Farscape, South Park, etc.

I've got a handful of things that still haven't been done, but will I ever get the chance to do them 'first?' I'm never going to give up and stop trying, but I also know it's unlikely. So I face a future of potentially watching the last few 'new' ideas I had get added to my "been done" checklist, while wondering if I'll have any more.

Human odour
I've already mentioned the smell of young puppies, other people reminded me about my love of livestock odour, and there's fresh cut grass, forests, plants, garlic pizza... the world is my odourous oyster.

One of the things I do that occasionally really throws women, is when I comment that they smell good. This usually follows a hug in which I've gotten a good whiff of their hair/body and just loved it. It's not that often that I get a guy smell that I think is good. I don't think they pong, most just don't evoke a response. Which biologically speaking makes a certain amount of sense.

One particular female friend commented that I always said she smelled good at the end of a long day, when she hadn't showered. And I'm not surprised by this. It's the natural scent that I love, and incredibly rare that I find a deodourant or perfume that I like in any way. At the end of the day, the natural is overcoming the artificial and I'm getting her smell, not the odour she thinks she should project.

Natural scent is really evocative, and yet people tend to cover it up. When I comment on a woman's scent, I'm commenting on her. Some women I have no reaction to, some I think smell nice, others smell good and I could happily spend a pleasant few moments with my face buried in their neck.

And of course, a few smell good, achingly, gorgeously, arousingly yummy.

There's truth to the old adage about a woman's scent being part of her armory, and good reason why women in some countries dab wrists and behind their ears with vaginal juices. Hell, scent is one of the reasons I love giving oral sex to women. You're there, you've got the taste, the immediacy of reaction, and the scent. It always annoys me when people pull out the old 'fish smell' chestnut. I don't like fish smell, I think it's kind of yuck, but I generally enjoy the smell of a woman's nether regions. It may vary a little, depending on where she is in her cycle, but overall I tend to like it.

When many modern people read that Napoleon wrote to Josephine and told her not to wash, they think only of ickiness or perversity, they are missing the primal instinct, the raw urge to lose yourself in another's scent. We've been gradually comvinced by various companies that to have odour is a bad thing, that you need to cover up your scent. Some odours may be bad, but not all of them.

I have never had a partner, sexual or otherwise, that used perfume or strong deodourants. I think that comes from the fact that if I don't get to smell them, I'm unlikely to get drawn closer to them. There's no chance to see if I like their scent, and that's one of the things that will draw me in.

Scent is as individual as a fingerprint. One of the things about getting a nose-full of some of my friends when I hug them is that rediscovered moment of 'oh yes, I'd forgotten about her scent.' That moment lights me up in the same way that seeing their face when the door first opens - a moment of happiness, recognition and delight - this person means something to me and I love having that extra reminder of that.

Smell ya later

From: leecetheartist
2006-09-12 02:48 am (UTC)
Just a quick note to let you know how much enjoyment I get from reading your 100 days entries.

Lots. Thank you for writing them.

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[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2006-09-12 02:57 am (UTC)
Thank you, very glad you like them.

100 days is totally wanky and self-absorbed, but that's the point of blogging, isn't it? :)
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From: gutter_monkey
2006-09-12 07:01 am (UTC)
"totally wanky"

What??? There was one about wanking?

**goes back to check previous posts**
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[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2006-09-12 07:09 am (UTC)
No, that comes later...
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[User Picture]From: leahcim
2006-09-12 12:51 pm (UTC)
*hears a faint badoom-tish in the distance*
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From: leecetheartist
2006-09-12 04:23 am (UTC)
For me, the jury is still out on that one...

But 100 days, I dunno, it doesn't seem wanky and self absorbed, it seems warm, confiding and very genuine and intimate. There's no sense of self congratuation about it like some of the "look at me" blogs.

Just my take on it, you understand, if you think it's wanky and self-absorbed, go right ahead, it is, after all, your 100 days and who should be the greater authority?
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[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2006-09-12 06:08 am (UTC)
Well, one of the other points in doing it was to give people an insight in the real me, warts and all. I'd love to have sit-down, in-depth convos with all sorts of people about all sorts of things, but it seldom happens.

100 days is the next best thing to the 3am period when we've been talking for about 6 hours :)
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From: leecetheartist
2006-09-13 03:13 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: ghoath
2006-09-12 04:49 am (UTC)

the smell thing

yay! that is so great to hear.
it is something that kerry is on about all the time, to the point of obsession sometimes.

For example, he doesn't like me wearing strong perfume (well I don't like it either).
I've been banned from putting dye in my hair because of the artificial smells they put in it to disguise the icky chemicals you're putting on your hair.
Essentially, if I stink too much of something artificial: moisturiser, hand cream, deodarant, he avoids me for a while until it wears off.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-09-12 06:05 am (UTC)

Re: the smell thing

Yeah, when Sharon dyed her hair recently I couldn't stand to be near her. Actually found the chemical smell really rank and lingering. Wore off after a few days.
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[User Picture]From: willowgypsy
2006-09-12 08:05 am (UTC)

"shot your wad"

"shot your wad" ... you are such a delicate flower... :P

While we must all deal with the inevitable compromise over what we would like to do and be responsible for, verses what we can possibily achieve in one life-time, I feel you will always find new ways to be creatively expressive... evidenced by your LJ and S&H and all other endeavours... no fear.
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[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2006-09-12 08:20 am (UTC)

Re: "shot your wad"

I hope so. There are just the times when I look at all the cool ideas as they've been whittled away and get annoyed, mainly at myself. I know there's a lot more I could have done to push myself. still is. But it's also an industry where getting that first connection is important.

Meanwhile, Akiva Goldsman gets paid to make movies. Ewe Boll gets paid to make movies. JMS wants to make Star Trek!

The universe is laughing at me! *grin*
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[User Picture]From: tikiwanderer
2006-09-13 10:54 pm (UTC)
Very much with you on the scents thing. I love the smell of guys, always have. I know that it's often reminiscent of old goat, sometimes even stale old goat, but I'll quite happily curl up and roll in the scent of a male who's got a healthy odour on them. (Note: healthy != con video room or all-night LAN party.) Women don't have that effect - I'm way too straight, and part of that is that I don't engage with women because they just plain smell wrong.

I actually use my sense of smell a lot in picking partners. Women, as mentioned above, are right out, and would be even if they weren't covered in perfume+shampoo+conditioner+deodorant+skincream+bodyrub+douche+etcetera. Men have more variety - there are some that just smell wrong also, most are OK to attractive and quite pleasant, and a small few have an odour that says "Yes, make children with me". I fully expect that when I get around to breeding it will be with someone in this latter category, regardless of all other factors. I can't imagine making kids with someone who didn't smell right for it. I think there's supposed to have been some research done on this, wbout how women select for genetic suitability by sense of smell, but I don't know what it says.
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[User Picture]From: davidcook
2006-09-15 11:34 pm (UTC)
I vaguely remember reading some of the New Scientist versions of that research. Among other things, I seem to recall that women's response to male smell varies somewhat through the month, but more importantly, that the Pill can completely change around the preference - that is, a preferred guy when off the Pill could become a "just OK" or "just wrong!" when on it.
I can imagine that (coupled with the reduction in libido that some women experience on the pill) making things tricky in a relationship.
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