One of the things that I sometimes wonder is, with all the little projects I've worked on, with all the cool ideas that I thought I could give life to, have I shot my wad? Is that it? Has all the good stuff been wasted and I won't have any more original ideas.
I'm a creative person. Always have been. Worked on a bunch of different projects that never went anywhere. The two biggest to date were the animated Doctor Who project, and another smaller one called Redback. I had lots of seemingly cool ideas for both, developed these, worked them... and of course, both projects eventually died.
The thing is, at the time, I had filled them with ideas that had never been done on tv. Doctor Who-wise the first and second seasons of the animated series would have featured several stories that hadn't been done before - Doctor's companion ends up in a time when a beloved parent is still alive and she wants to save them; the cunning and lethality of a lone dalek is shown; end of season one would have been huge dalek war; a cyber story that featured a female character that we'd gotten to know transformed into a cyberman, and talks to the characters so they have the realisation of what's to come; the far future where the last pureblood human is the Doctor's companion; and a story featuring elements of the second season finale.
If the third season of Doctor Who features the Sontaran/Rutan war, I will cry.
Redback was meant to be a sci-fi comedy, the name came from the look of the living ship. Some friends were trying to get this off the ground, brought me on board and I went nuts with it, planning out a story arcs and stories for five years, just because I can't help myself. Of the ideas that hadn't been done in an ongoing series before, we had - the living ship; an insect/human war; the ship getting pregnant; giving birth to smaller, heavily armed baby ship; the flashback episode where most of the material is stuff we haven't seen before and the stories change as the characters argue about details and even make stuff up; and a few others, I'd have to find the notes.
It's been interesting over the last decade or two, slowly watching all my 'cool, original' ideas get used. Most of them have been used well, I have no problem with that. Just annoying when I know that if the other shows had gotten off the ground, I was there first. In the case of Redback, almost a decade ahead of the others. It feels like I'm living in my own past victories, except they aren't really victories if the only version that exists is me telling people.
And I can't help but worry that if I were to get a show going now, it's too late. I've done my dash, had all my wild, out-there ideas. Whatever I do now will simply be ordinary, and if I choose to use some of my old ideas, naturally people would say it had already been done by Farscape, South Park, etc.
I've got a handful of things that still haven't been done, but will I ever get the chance to do them 'first?' I'm never going to give up and stop trying, but I also know it's unlikely. So I face a future of potentially watching the last few 'new' ideas I had get added to my "been done" checklist, while wondering if I'll have any more.
I've already mentioned the smell of young puppies, other people reminded me about my love of livestock odour, and there's fresh cut grass, forests, plants, garlic pizza... the world is my odourous oyster.
One of the things I do that occasionally really throws women, is when I comment that they smell good. This usually follows a hug in which I've gotten a good whiff of their hair/body and just loved it. It's not that often that I get a guy smell that I think is good. I don't think they pong, most just don't evoke a response. Which biologically speaking makes a certain amount of sense.
One particular female friend commented that I always said she smelled good at the end of a long day, when she hadn't showered. And I'm not surprised by this. It's the natural scent that I love, and incredibly rare that I find a deodourant or perfume that I like in any way. At the end of the day, the natural is overcoming the artificial and I'm getting her smell, not the odour she thinks she should project.
Natural scent is really evocative, and yet people tend to cover it up. When I comment on a woman's scent, I'm commenting on her. Some women I have no reaction to, some I think smell nice, others smell good and I could happily spend a pleasant few moments with my face buried in their neck.
And of course, a few smell good, achingly, gorgeously, arousingly yummy.
There's truth to the old adage about a woman's scent being part of her armory, and good reason why women in some countries dab wrists and behind their ears with vaginal juices. Hell, scent is one of the reasons I love giving oral sex to women. You're there, you've got the taste, the immediacy of reaction, and the scent. It always annoys me when people pull out the old 'fish smell' chestnut. I don't like fish smell, I think it's kind of yuck, but I generally enjoy the smell of a woman's nether regions. It may vary a little, depending on where she is in her cycle, but overall I tend to like it.
When many modern people read that Napoleon wrote to Josephine and told her not to wash, they think only of ickiness or perversity, they are missing the primal instinct, the raw urge to lose yourself in another's scent. We've been gradually comvinced by various companies that to have odour is a bad thing, that you need to cover up your scent. Some odours may be bad, but not all of them.
I have never had a partner, sexual or otherwise, that used perfume or strong deodourants. I think that comes from the fact that if I don't get to smell them, I'm unlikely to get drawn closer to them. There's no chance to see if I like their scent, and that's one of the things that will draw me in.
Scent is as individual as a fingerprint. One of the things about getting a nose-full of some of my friends when I hug them is that rediscovered moment of 'oh yes, I'd forgotten about her scent.' That moment lights me up in the same way that seeing their face when the door first opens - a moment of happiness, recognition and delight - this person means something to me and I love having that extra reminder of that.
Smell ya later