dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,

  • Mood:

100 days of Love and Hate - Day 11

I know a lot of people. Friends, aquaintances and relatives would number in the hundreds. And I keep in regular touch with a couple of them. Some of the people I manage to not keep in contact with are folks whose company I really prize, who are important to me on multiple levels, who I have a strong bond with.

I'm just not wired towards contacting people. I like people, but I'm also a hermit. I have lots of projects that I'm working on and I inevitably remember that I wanted to ring someone late at night, later than I'm happy ringing. I'm crap at responding to email, and have actually gotten significantly worse since becoming ill since I only check mail every few days now, rather than daily.

The thing is, it's an aspect of myself that I hate. There are so many people that I want to spend time with, that I enjoy time with, that I love yakking to, and it just doesn't happen. My favourite Auntie, my biological mum, Mitch, Mondy... all these people are people I love, but it's rare that I chase them up. Before we moved in to look after her, I made sure I combined my shopping trip with mum's because that meant I saw her once a week. If I hadn't done that I would have been lucky to see her once a month.

And then there's the others. Mates interstate, overseas... People who enrich my life with every meeting, but I rarely communicate with them.

It's something that I've tried to change again and again. I like being social, catching up with friends and family, but I just don't seem to be able to do it.

And I feel bad because I worry that some of these people will think I don't care, that they aren't important to me, when it's just the opposite. I care a great deal, I'm just lacking the software to make it happen as often as I'd like.

It's one of the the reasons I like cock, it may not be ideal contact, but it's contact. It's short, I'm not likely to get distracted partway through, and it may give people a smile. If I didn't send it, I probably wouldn't get around to writing anything.

But I'm aware that it's not enough.

I'm one of those people who, when given the chance to go through a dictionary or encyclopedia, will skip from one section to another, following threads and ideas that lead me well away from the original thing I looked up. I'm a curious person, if I had the capacity, I'd learn everything there is to know about everything. Instead, I 'specialise' in a couple of areas and pick up bits and pieces about as much as I can.

And Wikipedia, combined with Firefox's tabbed browsing, allows me to go nuts. I love wandering through its dusty webpages, flicking through links and cross-references, seeing what's out there. And to date, it's been very rare that I haven't found at least a pointer towards where I could get the info I needed.

As an information junkie, I find it a delight. And when I find it to be mistaken, I can do something about it.

Utterly marvelous.
Tags: love & hate

  • All Hallows Read 2016 - aftermath

    It was a good night. Quieter than the previous couple but they were on a Friday and Sat, so I expected this to be slightly more sedate. My kids were…

  • Pics!

    The first photo is of tonight's set-up, the second is of the generous book donation from Guttermonkey! It's help to swell the number of…

  • All Hallows Read 2016

    All set up for # AllHallowsRead! Not as many books this year. Last year I had money troubles, but fortunately many generous people donated cash…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.