dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,
dalekboy
dalekboy

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100 days of Love and Hate - Day 11

Contact
I know a lot of people. Friends, aquaintances and relatives would number in the hundreds. And I keep in regular touch with a couple of them. Some of the people I manage to not keep in contact with are folks whose company I really prize, who are important to me on multiple levels, who I have a strong bond with.

I'm just not wired towards contacting people. I like people, but I'm also a hermit. I have lots of projects that I'm working on and I inevitably remember that I wanted to ring someone late at night, later than I'm happy ringing. I'm crap at responding to email, and have actually gotten significantly worse since becoming ill since I only check mail every few days now, rather than daily.

The thing is, it's an aspect of myself that I hate. There are so many people that I want to spend time with, that I enjoy time with, that I love yakking to, and it just doesn't happen. My favourite Auntie, my biological mum, Mitch, Mondy... all these people are people I love, but it's rare that I chase them up. Before we moved in to look after her, I made sure I combined my shopping trip with mum's because that meant I saw her once a week. If I hadn't done that I would have been lucky to see her once a month.

And then there's the others. Mates interstate, overseas... People who enrich my life with every meeting, but I rarely communicate with them.

It's something that I've tried to change again and again. I like being social, catching up with friends and family, but I just don't seem to be able to do it.

And I feel bad because I worry that some of these people will think I don't care, that they aren't important to me, when it's just the opposite. I care a great deal, I'm just lacking the software to make it happen as often as I'd like.

It's one of the the reasons I like cock, it may not be ideal contact, but it's contact. It's short, I'm not likely to get distracted partway through, and it may give people a smile. If I didn't send it, I probably wouldn't get around to writing anything.

But I'm aware that it's not enough.




Wikipedia
I'm one of those people who, when given the chance to go through a dictionary or encyclopedia, will skip from one section to another, following threads and ideas that lead me well away from the original thing I looked up. I'm a curious person, if I had the capacity, I'd learn everything there is to know about everything. Instead, I 'specialise' in a couple of areas and pick up bits and pieces about as much as I can.

And Wikipedia, combined with Firefox's tabbed browsing, allows me to go nuts. I love wandering through its dusty webpages, flicking through links and cross-references, seeing what's out there. And to date, it's been very rare that I haven't found at least a pointer towards where I could get the info I needed.

As an information junkie, I find it a delight. And when I find it to be mistaken, I can do something about it.

Utterly marvelous.
Tags: love & hate
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