dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,
dalekboy
dalekboy

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Alone in the Dark

On a whim, just checked. I've seen 104 of the Internet Movie Database Top 250 and only 12 of the IMDB Bottom 100.

It's amazing how many of the bottom 100 I had decided I wasn't going to waste my time on, though I do have a couple on them still on my 'to see' list.

What prompted this was voluntarily watching Alone in the Dark last night.

I watched it because it was a reasonable computer game that I helped Sharon out with. Shaz likes puzzle based games. This had puzzles but also bits where you had to fight the monsters, so when a monster bit would come up, she'd save the game and wait for me to visit, I'd kill the monster then she'd continue with the game. It was from way back before we got married.

I knew Sharon would have been curious to see the film. I knew it was going to be bad, and she doesn't share me appreciation of crap cinema. So I hired it for $1 and watched it last night.

When I watch a film for the first time, generally I like to concentrate on it fully. If I have to do something, I will pause it. I texted Sharon halfway through the film, telling her 'Alone in the Dark is less fun than a rectal exam performed by someone wearing large metal gauntlets, boring and non-sensical in that special way that belongs only to people on lithium & bad Italian SciFi. You need *never* see this film.'

That goes for all of you, too, though I know I'm too late for some of you.

This film is not so-bad-it's-good. It is dull, very dull, Solaris-remake dull. And it's meant to be an action film. It makes less sense than Underworld with the sound turned up.

There are films where I say they are so bad, you should wait until they get down to $1 a week and then get someone else to pay for it. No-one should ever part with money for this film. No-one should lose time to this film.
Tags: reviews, videos/dvds
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  • 23 comments

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