dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,
dalekboy
dalekboy

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You always remember your first

In the last couple of months I've had to turn down a bit of work. Just have not been up to it. But last week I got offered a small part in a film and I couldn't say no. Today I acted in my first porno flick.

I had auditioned for Anna Brownfield from Poison Apple Productions ages back. Anna's filmography is interesting to say the least, and she mixes my interests in film, sex, breaking conventions, the Aussie film scene, etc., so I was happy just to have the chance to meet her. And she's another fan of Cafe Flesh, which sets out to insult its target audience right from the get-go, then becomes as surreal and bizarre a piece of porn that you have ever seen. It rightfully earned its place as a cult classic and is probably my favourite porn flick of all time.

As has happened to me a few times, I audition for something and if I don't get a part, they remember me and I get called back when they find themselves needing someone for another small role. Anna rang up and asked if I'd be willing to play 'the long-haired hippie' for her new film, The Band. I'd get one line. How could I say no? I warned her that if I'm having a bad day I'd be on my walking stick and she was fine with that.

So I got dropped off this morning with a small collection of hippie clothes for a 7am call. It was a great team of people, all friendly and fun-loving. The big topic was the two guys getting booted out of Big Brother, and the various reactions, which tended to range from it being a media beat-up to yes, please God, axe Big Brother, any reason will do.

Catering was great, I'm not a brekky person but after a couple of hours when I was finally able to eat, I had a yummy orange and poppy-seed muffin. Then I got made up and into costume, wearing my Albert Einstein T-Shirt and one of my dad's old 70's shirts over it. One of the main actresses was meant to be reading a book in the scene I was in, but they had forgotten to bring one along, so now she's reading Charles Stross's Singularity Sky *grin*

They were trying to find what was funniest for my character, who walks out of the audition rooms and says "That was cosmic man" in a doped out voice, before one of the leads goes in to audition. Originally I was meant to be carrying bongos, but then we found that one of the guys had brought a banjo along - much funnier! I also had a little maraca. One of the crew, I think her name was Kirsten, commented that they'd never put so much effort into an extra before, but they were loving it.

Went through, shot my bits from three angles, it was all good. Chatted to various people, turns out that Anna is keeping herself celibate for the shoot, three weeks. She was saying this for one of the crew who was recording behind the scenes stuff and said that the chakra for creativity and your reproductive organs were the same, so she hoping to improve her creativity. Plus she was hoping that it would be a more erotic film if she was feeling... She paused at a loss for words, so I offered up the term 'toey'.

Got to talk with Anna more than I expected, she rocks. I *think* she's the only woman in Australia doing porn. Hell, the Aussie porn industry is tiny anyway, so anyone doing porn in Australia is part of a select crowd. And there are so many problems shooting it here - legally, you're not allowed to film actual sex scenes in Victoria, so you have to go interstate to shoot that stuff.

Anna certainly has vision and talent, and was lovely to work with. I didn't use my walking stick for the scenes I was in, just concentrated extra hard on not falling over through the various takes. Came home totally exhausted, not helped by the two and a quarter hours it took me to get from Hoddle St, Richmond, to home. Still stuffed but happy.

Move over Ron Jeremy, there's another pudgy, hairy, unattractive man ready to take your place!
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