The bits of the salad screamed in agony & all they could think was, "Why don't people eat more animals? They don't feel pain the way we do!"
The child on his tricycle swerved into a gutter, where his bike inexplicably exploded, killing him in an awesome display of pyrotechnics.
Alan's ability to communicate with plants made him the envy of other horticulturists. Sadly for him, plants are *really* dull to talk to.
No one dwells in the old stone building any more, except for insects and the reptiles that eat them, but the stones remember better times.
Len had heard of orgasms, and had thought about giving one to his wife, but sadly he had no idea where to buy one or even how to wrap it.
Captain O'Reilly knew he couldn't afford to lose the fight with his arch enemy. Death was not an option - he was wearing his grotty undies!
Santa awoke sweating. It was the nightmare again - he arrives at the first house, only to discover he has no presents except socks and jocks
Captain Xavier O'Reilly regarded infinity from the bridge of his ship, the Hyperkulturemia, suddenly worried he'd left the gas on at home.
Sometimes, when no-one is looking, the stars rearrange themselves into messages mocking astrologists.
As he moved TV shows, art, & messages from one country to another, his inner 10yo was ashamed at how unexcited his older self was by it all.
God believes he was created by someone called Phil, who is invisible, omnipotent, all powerful, has a secret plan, and a dog called Blossom.
God says Phil tells him in dreams to do mean stuff to you. That thing that happened to you the other day? God says Phil told him to do it.
A spider crawled over your face last night while you slept. She was chasing off a moth that wanted to lay eggs in your ear. She was too late
Ice melted slowly
The Queen thawed and lived once more;
Death would be her gift.
Strange creatures grow big
In warm Lake of Mutations
The pavement started to absorb Lily. She found she couldn't cry out, & the city whispered to her, telling her she would become its new soul.
Most folks hated Daniel's portraits, saying his paintings made them looks ugly. They didn't realise he could only paint their inner selves.
Ken's mullet was over three foot long, & able to move independently. At night when Ken slept, it would catch & eat small rodents & insects.