So anyway, 23 more of these little moments...
"I, Har, God of Infants, will aid your search." They thanked the giant being and made to leave. "Wait! You can't go yet. I've gone poos..."
"Eyes down" said the bingo caller. He turned the little barrel then pulled out the first eyeball. "Blue with a cataract - Bluey Blindy!"
The spiders loved Ellie - she was a snorer. Every night they'd gather above her bed and dare one another to bungee jump into her open mouth.
A gigolo's life is short, reflected Stan. Once the hair thins, the tummy expands, & the testicles pass your knees, the ladies lose interest.
Carl sighed. "I've done hundreds of needle works. I've planted thousands of plants. Do they remember that? No. But you kill one family..."
"So what's the problem, Grace?"
"I hate clowns, doctor."
"Well, that's really quite common."
"I know, but mum makes me eat them anyway."
One night Sarah flew naked through the warm summer air. She enjoyed it, except for all the squashed bugs that ended up stuck to her skin.
She tried wiping them, polishing them, even sanding them down and giving them a coat of lacquer, but her eyes still itched.
Deep in thought he stroked his chin. It purred contentedly.
She always tweeted a picture of her lunch before she ate it, mainly because it always looked better than it tasted.
The new subroutine meant every time Kelly was retweeted she'd experience a wave of orgasmic pleasure. Sadly, her tweets were always crap.
As Sid sat on the river bank eating lolly snakes, nature played a cruel trick, and he got bitten by a mosquito. And eaten by a crocodile.
As you would expect, Cecil Poopoo hated his name with a passion. The best day of his life was when he got it changed to Frank.
With a touch Gwenda could make you fertile or barren. Her services were much in demand & the price was high, but she never asked for cash...
She hungered, wanting to eat the rich experience in an old woman's heart, or suck the meat from a child's fingers. She settled for chocolate
Tracy increasingly knew in fact that *she* was a rare & special flower in an otherwise barren landscape. Actually, she was only another weed
In the midst of the fog, someone found the old woman. She was lying on the ground, staring straight up, the cold mist issuing from her mouth
The card from a dead celebrity was pretty amazing, however May wasn't sure she wanted to encourage Adolf because he was such a fucking dick.
Once again, Mighty Cthulhu sat on the couch eating ice cream and watching Gilligan's Island, because no-one had sent him a Valentine's gift.
Cupid's arrows come in pairs - one for each lover. On bad days he shoots one lover, then breaks the other arrow, because he's a little shit.
He knew it was his own fault - he'd ended things on bad terms. But sometimes God still wished Lucifer would ring or write.
Unaware it wasn't through choice, all she knew was he'd stayed too briefly, then left. The Moon missed Neil, and he longed to return to her.
This is the sci-fi future I ached for 30 years ago, & it's a bit mundane, she thought as she ate breakfast in front of the new colour TV.