"Look at that one! The way it moves."
"Beautiful. They make it seem so effortless."
"Yeah, I wish I could walk like that."
They flew off.
The Early Bird landed, then started to look for food. But the worms were ready. They'd stayed up all night and would have their vengeance.
It's watching. You can feel it now, can't you? Turn around fast but you still won't see it.
Unless it wants you to.
Unless it's hungry.
"It was only a cat, daddy. I had to eat." He looked at the child with disgust & fear.
"Mum's gone too. I was very hungry."
He'd carried his burden through twisted forests, across burning sands. Finally he reached the monastery, rapped on the door & said, "Pizza!"
The stroke had hit & he'd been paralysed in his flat 2 days ago. His cat had kept him company. Today though, she started to eat his fingers.
Katy's bubble wand created magical pocket realities. Sitting in the sun, she blew through it, filling the sky with tiny, short-lived worlds.
He'd been in purgatory for months when the letter appeared. It was addressed to him and said "Congratulations, you may have already won..."
They removed his conscience first, then his compassion. By the time they got to his soul, the transformation into a politician was painless.
When the Magi, Santa, Ded Moroz, & all the other gift-givers started to fight for supremacy, no one guessed La Befana would come out on top.
The population rallied around their noise-damaged capital, & with the guidance of architragoudists, gently sang their city back into being.
The anti-Christ took over easily, and all because years ago someone thought that 666 read better than 616 as the Number of the Beast.
"Find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life, my girl."
The executioner swung the axe, taking off the thief's head.
The Coroner was astounded to find the vagrant's internal organs were chocolate. Unable to resist, he broke off some lung & tried it. Tangy!
He left the presents, but was unable to resist his dark urge any longer. Going into the bathroom, Santa started licking the toothbrushes.
Slicing open the stomach of a screaming elf, Santa pulled out a Barbie doll & a new dress. "That's Kim's list finished," he said happily.
The Prime Minister had demanded Special Order 3. Sadly the Chef dismissed his staff, then started masturbating over the US President's food.
Satan left some presents, ate some biscuits, & drank the milk. He sighed, quietly, wishing he got the credit instead of that bastard Santa.
Climbing out of the chimney, he saw the naked woman. "I'm ready for my present now, Santa." Undressing, all he could think was work, work, work.
Sitting on the table next to the milk and cookies was a little present. Weeping with joy, he opened the gift with "To Santa" on the label.
Going back to where she'd planted the seed so long ago, she was pleased to see that it grown well and was becoming quite a nice cottage.
Climbing the stairs of their mighty towers, the High Priests of Wall Street brutally sacrificed more human lives to their Money Gods.
The Lepidoptera gun was an incredibly effective transmogrifier. It wasn't long before battlefields were filled with clouds of butterflies.
The nanites giving her eternal life by rebuilding worn out cells were great, except for those times they got materials from random people.
"Daddy, where did I come from?"
"Well," said Doctor Frankenstein, "It's a long story. Your left arm I got from..."
One day everyone awoke to realise most sports folk didn't have opinions worth listening to, and the world became a slightly better place.
"I'm sorry son, but your mother and I only really had a child in case one of us needed a replacement organ or two, and that day has come..."
One day we trapped God in a small glass jar. I still have it. When I'm feeling bored, I like to shake the jar and listen to him swear.
Like most people who have unauthorised biographies written about them, God was quite upset at how much made up stuff there was in the Bible.