being asked to be a godparent for M was one of the happiest moments of my life **beams with pride**
TC and I have taken quite seriously to the role and are ensuring that M's corruption ... err.. spiritual guidance is one of our primary roles.
This is almost exactly how I feel about being godparent for Q, in every particular.
We have lots of grandparents around the place, so where they live in a case of sudden orphaning is OK, and I trust both sets of our parents to sort things out nicely.
I figure all of our friends will be the 'spiritual guidance' they need.
I am the god parent of a young child (a 3rd generation swancon attendee!), a responsibility I take very seriously. While the responsibility of raising the child should her parents die is something we have talked about, the other responsibility we have thought about is the idea of there being someone for moral/spiritual guidance. I think it is valuable for a child to have someone that they know they can talk to about that sort of thing, but who isn't their parents (there are always going to be some issues you just don't want to discuss with your parents). I promised her parents that, when the time comes (she is still only a toddler), that I'd try to ensure she got a real moral and religious education, from Nietsche to Voodoo.
So I just wanted to say that I agree that, even though a lot of us don't want someone to fill the traditional religious education role, that godparents are valuable even for people that don't see a need for the traditional 'god' part, and I think it is great that you are thinking hard about it.
It's worth thinking hard about. I've known of people who just chose Godparents based on whim. My request to anyone who was religious who ended up looking after the child would be that they can teach them about their beliefs, but I also want them to hear about as many of the others as possible as well.
K and I have discussions on this occasionally too - I can't imagine how we will ever make a decision...
I think that if you substitute "values" for "religious education," you'll hit it pretty close. My feeling is that the idea is for the godparents to be people whom you can trust to establish the same values in your child that you intend to. I can see where the problem becomes geometrically more difficult once you have to consider partners and people's current stage in life re: housing, employment, and so on. I have known cases where the godparents were not a pair, that is, there was a godmother and a godfather who were not connected. (Mario Puzo jokes aside :-> ) Best of luck with this difficult and important decision!
Well, we're certainly looking at Godparents who aren't connected. Mum commented that we needed a couple, and we said we don't because people get divorced, so it ends up no different to chossing two separate people.
I'm not clear - are you thinking of the godparent/s as being the same as the guardian? It doesn't have to be the same person/people. So you could eg name one person in your wills as the guardian, and have 10 completely different godparents :)
We're aiming for the Godparent/gaurdian thing, partially since first main choice is a relative, and it would mean a lot to her to be an actual Godparent, rather than guardian. That said, we don't know yet that she'll want the responsibility, hence our other thoughts.
Current plan is for three Godparent/potential guardians, but that may all change. Of the people we're considering as potential guardians, we're mainly looking at people in Melbourne, since that's where the rest of the child's family would be. That said, there are people from other states that we're also thinking hard about.
We'll just have to see where we end up.
i set up a will with abyelvis and bigjobbies as guardians in case i die. i love my folks but they are way too old to take on a baby
That's our thought. Wouldn't be fair to strand Shaz's parents with a baby, and there's no way in Hell we would even think of my mum as a possiblity.
they'd be well into their 80s by the time she graduated. not that they are going ti make old bones.
terry and i am the nominated future guardians for em's pearl and sue and julian's twins. we gave it a lot of thought before accepting. we've asked terry's sisters (who are both younger than us) to take care of our blinky if the worst happened.
not being religious, we haven't had a christening, but i am godparent 4 and terry is to 2.
I am still very happy with our selection of godparents (for want of a better word) for Jess. Even though their circumstances have changed.
Our thoughts were looking for friends with partners as bringing up a child , (if we both passed away before she reached a certain age), is hard enough without dropping the responsibility on a single person. That was how our thought processes went anyway.
Yeah, have thought along those lines, but at the same time, people split up, move, die, so we're concentrating on good mentors with consideration to how they would cope. There have definitely been people who have only been knocked out of the running because we feel it would be unfair on them in their current situation, and while that may change, we don't want to rely on it changing.
We've been discussing this for weeks now :)
All you can do is the best you can do at the time. We sat down and did a serious think about it when the godparents circumstances changed, (He passed away), but in the end, it has worked out well. Jess and her godmother talk a lot about stuff she doesn't feel she can talk to us about, whatever that is.
So in the end, all you can do is pick the person or people that you would feel comfortable leaving your child with if you both happened to be hit by a bus right now.
If we had a crystal ball we would all be rich.
Of my godparents, one is in Canada, and the other one went insane back in the 70s. So really, not a whole lot of guiding going on there.
What the fuck did you do to them?!!
Hmmm, in terms of guardianship people's situations change alot over time. Someone who would be very capable and willing to look after Lex this year might not be able to down the track.
But having an adult person around who is willing to support a child, yet isn't parent-y is very good and it sounds like your extended family will be wonderful for them. I had to find my own older person to talk to growing up and I think if a child needs to and has access to lots of different people they will find the one they are the most comfortable with (one of my childless aunts turned out to be fairly cool and she wasn't my godparent either).
That's what makes it such an interesting process - really thinking about the costs and benefits to all involved, and trying to allow for reasonable changes to their lives.
But that doesn't stop them spontaneously combusting in the middle of watching Swan Lake, and leaving you up in the air all over again.
And while the kid may develop a good relationship with a Godparent or guardian, they may well pick someone you'd have never thought of to be the person they turn to.
I never had godparents... *feels left out*
If I had any I never got told about them. But I probably didn't as my parents figured if I wanted to get baptised I could do it when I was old enough to make up my own mind. And when I got old enough I figured I didn't.
I know you don't technically have to get baptised necessarily to get godparent equivalents but I don't remember any particular mentor type figures apart from grandparents.
me neither - but i was neither christened or baptised.