dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,

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It's all me, baby!

Swimming exhausts me for the entire next day, so you can imagine how buggered I am tonight after a lesson. I'm at the tired level where all my filters start to shut down one by one, so anything that's in my head starts to just come out. Fortunately typing filters things a little bit. But not much. I only just avoided replying to someone by saying, "Just send money... or naked pictures..." Given I don't know them that well, I rethought that one... just...

Anyway, my point here is my general silliness. After ten years of marriage, Sharon has just discovered that the silly stuff I do around her, mum, and other people, I also do when I'm on my own.

I thought she knew!

I was really surprised. I mean, I wasn't hiding it. Hell, I can't pass a mirror without gurning, or checking out how my body looks in different poses, and trying to decide which pose is funniest/stupidest/most likely to get a laugh. I talk to myself in silly voices. I mean I couldn't be as constant with my silliness if I wasn't this way when she wasn't around. The facade would slip. Oh I have my serious, quiet times. Lots of them. But the random acts of stupidity are always lurking in the background. And just because no-one else is present, so what?!

Shaz - 'I didn't realise you still do this stuff when you have no audience!'
Me - 'There's always an audience. Just because I can't see them doesn't mean they aren't there.'

harveystoat, gutter_monkey? I figure you're the two who would most be likely to do the same.

Life's too short not to be enjoying it every instant you can. Back me up, someone!
Tags: identity, slice of life

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