|Dreams of death and signs of life
||[May. 1st, 2008|11:33 am]
Other people's dreams are usually pretty dull and only interesting to the actual dreamer. So I'll pop the two dreams below a cut, and you can read them if you feel you want to. I will attempt to keep the descriptions short and to the point. All you need to know is that both dreams were about death.
In the first dream, it turned out that Tiki was dying of some ailment, and had something like 3 months to live. The dream jumped forward to the kitchen at Sth Oakleigh and we're sitting there and it's her last day, she looks perfectly fine, and acts fine. Eventually she figures death is pretty close, and it's a nice day, so she's going to start walking and see how far she gets before she dies. Tiki tells me I'll know what to do when I get the call, and she leaves carrying one of my cards (one of the ones with a picture of her on it) so that if she drops dead somewhere they have someone to contact. And I sit quietly and wait for the phone to ring.
I woke up out of the dream, and the reality of the situation hit me. If Tiki were to die, would I be able to delay the funeral long enough to find six big blokes to wear ballerina outfits, and teach them the choreography to the piece of music Tiki told me she wanted played at her funeral?
In the second dream Bernadette, my biological mum, rings up to tell me that my biological dad Peter has died. She's not sure I care, but if I'm interested, gives me the details for a group of folks organising people to head up to Queensland for the funeral. On one hand I'm not interested, on the other, it'd be a chance to get a look at my half-sister, which holds some interest.
I go to the meeting which has three or four people at it, and they're discussing how few people have replied to the RSVPs, and car pooling up to funeral. At some point they ask me how I knew the deceased, and I'm not sure if I said he was my biological father or not. I think I thought it. I said I could take one person in my car up to QLD, and my last memory of the dream before I woke up was my car driving through forest on the way there. As I drove, I was a little concerned that people would see the resemblance (I look incredibly like Peter) and it may be obvious to my half-sister and other members of the family that I'm one of his bastard kids. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle that, if it came up.
So that's both dreams.
Made for a slightly sleepless night. I wasn't particularly worried by either one, but I'm not used to remembering my dreams, so I tend to mull over them a lot when I do, which kept me awake.
Then this morning when Sharon woke up for work, I was already awake. We cuddled up and she grabbed my hand and put it on her belly, and yep, I felt Lex kick. Or punch, or head-butt, or body slam, he is related to me, after-all.
It's the first time I've actually felt him move, which is very cool. I felt him move a few more times, but interestingly, I wasn't... thrilled. Or amazed. Or even really moved. My rational mind knows there's a little living being doing the samba in my wife's guts, so him moving is a given, and conceptually I think it's awesome. It just isn't getting me on any sort of emotional level. I suspect the distance was from one of two things, I still haven't connected with him after Tracy, and/or I was kind of out of it and sleep deprived after those two dreams. So will just have to see how I go next time.
I did appreciate the odd timing though - waking from two dreams about death to encounter definite signs of life from my son.