August 29th, 2008


Things New Parents Should Know # 4 - Sleep

One of the secrets that parents keep from everyone else is the sheer amount of wasted time you had in your life before the baby came along. They do this so you don't feel bad. That's because most parents are nice people, or at least try to be.

I can't be bothered with that.

You non-parents! Ha! Wasting hours and hours of your life every day, and for little or no gain.

The first secret you learn on getting bub home is this - adult human beings don't really need sleep!

It's a fallacy put about by bedding companies so that we spend thousands on beds and blankets and doonas and pillows and all sorts of other useless ephemera.

The second secret you learn is that you don't need drugs, either. Lack of sleep is a natural hallucinogen. So think of all the money saved on alcohol or various illicit highs!

Anyway, must be off, I've a legion of Roman Gummi-Bears wanting to use the computer.
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