September 28th, 2007

Chaotic System


Which makes sense. I broke in Melbourne, again in Perth, and now when I've gotten home.

Sharon is lovely, as you'd expect, but we've hit the problem I was bracing myself for - Sharon's not a natural when it come to physical affection. She understands the theory well enough - she loves to be held, touched, and stroked herself - but doesn't understand or feel the flow and rhythm behind the touch, the way love and affection can be given, transferred, and shared by it, and so she can often only mechanically copy the moves. Which is something I find almost physically painful to be on the receiving end of.

It has none of the delicate subtleties that flow through even the most platonic shared physicalities. And she's trying so hard, but we're both aware that after nine years of marriage she still hasn't been able to pick up how to give affection through touch, so it's likely to be an awkward time for both of us.

On the plus side, she's strong and capable, so at least one of us has a working brain. And we love each other deeply, so that helps bridge the other gaps.