September 2nd, 2007

Serious Thoughts

(phone post) - thank you

I'd like to thank all of you that played a part in rendragon's Master Plan. In recent times I've been amazed at the kindness and generosity shown by people when I tried to get money together for John Robertson's birthday trip to Conflux, and more recently Theresa's dalek drive - but the level of generosity shown to me by so many of you was gob-smackingly mind-bogglingly insane.

I could rabbit on in my normal way, but really, when broken down to its purest form, the only words I have for you all is a very heart-felt thank-you.

In a year of troubles, thank you all for making me feel appreciated, loved, and special. I only hope you understand a fraction of what it truly means to me.
Cognitive Hazard


Very tired. Won't be organising a group get-together, coped well with last night, but it's left me totally drained. I can manage maybe one person in a day, two at a stretch. I think most of you know I'd love to see you all, but you all know I'll be back not too far down the track - and I may see some of you at Conflux! *hint hint*

Still broken. The only reason I didn't cry last night out of sheer emotional overload when given my group present, was that I'd spent ages crying during the afternoon and well, there wasn't any left. I'm still numb from the enormity of the gift (in the good way).

Told Gutter Monkey he should cross the Nullarbor with me if my other friend doesn't take me up on it, which seems likely. He's considering it seriously. Yay!

shazgirl has been walking alpacas while I've been away. Go to her livejournal and nudge her for details.

I have been given many hugs, offered much assistance, rested with my head in a few laps, had lots of decisions made for me (at my request) because I couldn't cope, cuddled up and slept safe in the arms of a couple of different friends overnight, cried lots with not much self-consciousness (often because I was being held and feeling loved and safe, so I relaxed annnnd...), have been driven everywhere (which is good, I wouldn't have been safe due to tiredness and emotions) and generally been paid lots of gentle, loving attention. It's what I need at the moment and it's held me together through the last few days while I deal with things. Still got a way to go, but your love and kindness have helped immeasurably.

Thank you all.