||[Jan. 15th, 2007|05:37 pm]
It's taken me years to realise that while I can walk into most tribes and are welcomed there, and that while I in fact move between various tribes with ease, I have no tribe I belong to.
I have never really claimed any single tribe as my own, though I have at times tried. But I have ended up with various friends, comrades, elders, witches, loves, and at least one fellow traveller & warrior that I can call on when in need, scattered through out the lands.
Sometimes this makes me sad, and other times it gives me strength - I have friends in many tribes and there are ways in which I quite like my nomadic state - it gives me perspective.
Hearing the different stories & secrets, occasionally seeing the things people have in common though they fail to realise or admit it, finding where the lines of communication have broken down, watching for the old mistakes, or discovering that the new problems stem from an old source, misconception, or a single person.
I can see the ways in which I may start my own tribe, it would be as easy as it is tempting, but it's not for me. It's almost happened once or twice, but I want to see the tribes moving in the right direction more than I want power, to keep them safe from the stupidity and short-sightedness of some would-be kings and queens, and then go on my way.
I'm the strange wandering hermit who comes down from the mountains, talks to people, offers advice, tells stories, and wanders off again. I enjoy the company of royalty and beggars equally, so long as neither are fools. I crave being loved and valued by all - I prize and appreciate that love when I find it - but to claim any single tribe as my own in order to attain it is to cripple my ability to move between people. As I am I don't need to conform to the standards of any one group or culture, I'm free to be myself, and I prize that freedom even above the protection and comfort of having a tribe that I belong to.
I am a tribe of one.
It would be a lonely place but for the handful of individuals who I allow to really know me, who I am free to show my weaknesses to, as well as my strengths - they visit me on those terms, wanting no more, but expecting no less than who I truly am. They aren't my tribe, they are my wanderers, who bless my life with their gifts of stories, advice, and love. And as much as I want them to stay with me, I try to let them go when their needs call them, hard as it is to say goodbye.
I hope you have found your tribe, or at least found some peace without one.