January 5th, 2007


My relationships, health, and related...

I wrote yesterday about shazgirl getting upset about my deteriorating health. In retrospect, knowing Shaz as I do I'm amazed it didn't happen sooner, though given how very well she'd been dealing with it, when it did happen it was a heartbreaking surprise. She's strong, but protective and a little fragile when it comes to me being hurt, as you'd expect. She would cheerfully defenestrate anyone who threatened me with harm, but this is something where she can't help except by offering support, both emotional and physical. Especially as I become increasingly unreliable and have difficulty with things, she can only watch my frustration at not being who I know I should be, with no way to take away the pain of that.

Kali I suspect sees this more the way I do - it's a nuisance and a bit of a shame - though I may be wrong on that. I've assumed it hasn't affected her as deeply because she doesn't show it, but then, I often don't show it either. At one point while driving together I commented a few times on the pain in my legs, then later asked if what I was doing was whingeing, in my usual concerns of being an imposition or nuisance. She said no, I wasn't whingeing, it was more a giving of updates, which was important because if I don't do that, even she doesn't realise how badly I'm doing at any given time, and she knows me at least as well as Sharon.Collapse )
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The My Sexuality post and poll aftermath

So was it worth it?

The My Sexuality Post has gotten a good response. Between 200 and 300 hits since it went up two days ago! And 16 comments so far, ranging from the polite "well done", through "There's so much here I get", and "I wish you'd been my friend while I was learning about sex," to "I really want to talk to you about so much stuff." Some people are taking the chance to open up, which is good. I've always tried to make time for those that need someone to talk about most things, but especially so if the subject is sex or relationships. There's been some great comments.

One person inferred that I'm a great essayist, or at least becoming one. Wow.

So yes. The post was very much worth it. And I'd like to thank everyone who read it and commented, because, well, it's a bloody big ask, ten thousand words. I often look at LJ posts that go for more than a page and cringe.

It's also nice because there are a few friends on this LJ where the idea that they don't know this much about me is just kind of weird. Not because they have been intimately involved with me or anything, but because they are such a big part of my life, even if I don't see them often. I trust them and care about them, so it's nice to share some of what has turned me into the man I am today, with the people who in their own way have influenced that.

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