||[Nov. 30th, 2007|09:19 am]
Just to show that my life isn't all doom and gloom, it's worth mentioning that Seshat is coming to Canberra for about a week to visit myself and Shaz. I am so rapt :)
Actually, there's not too much to update. We're still IM-ing lots, and both feel it when life gets to busy to allow us much contact. Which has actually been the case for a chunk of the last week or two. She's been busy, and I've been busy, tired and crashing out earlier.
Seshat's feelings for me are only friend affection - I'm not counting on or needing that to change - but she is enjoying the regular contact with someone who so obviously loves and enjoys her company. She seems to be feeling the benefits of it too, having mentioned feeling slightly more relaxed and calm, since getting regular exposure to my friendship and unconditional love.
What she does love is my honesty. Yes, I've told her when she looks bad in photos, and have mentioned the times when I've found her actions frustrating or annoying, but those occasions are pretty rare and mostly all relate to interactions before this year. While that raw honesty means that she gets the negative stuff, the positive stuff easily outweighs it, and hearing both removes any doubts about how genuine I am when I'm complimentary.
Most of the time she's being told she's special, amazing, great company, and occasionally a natural aphrodisiac. The negatives are incredibly rare - there's just a hell of a lot to like about this woman.
As you may have picked up, my feelings for her continue to be gradually getting stronger - certainly I've had a couple of those periods of achy-empty-painful-chest feeling when we've had to stop chatting all too soon after a break. I am so smitten.
Have wondered how I'll do once she visits. Will the magic be broken? Or will I get even more besotted? And if I fall further under her spell, how much am I gunna suffer the pangs of unrequited love?
Not particularly worried about it, mainly curious. Had lots of unrequited love in my life, so know it won't kill me, and at least with Seshat I get to freely tell her how I feel towards her. Seshat takes it all as a compliment, and is calm about it because she knows I'm not trying to get her to return the emotion or have sex with me - though, strangely, I'm not against the idea of either or both happening *grin* - it's more about expressing myself honestly.
Though she still doesn't get why I'm so very attracted to her, silly girl. Where all I can see is how could I not be attracted to her?
After all, I have exquisite taste in women :)