dalekboy (dalekboy) wrote,

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Facebook impressions

Facebook is made to be fun. That's good. I like fun. I'm so enthusiastic about life most of the time, it's not hard for me not to get excited and quickly grow to like all manner of people and things. One of the quickest ways to make me grow tired of you is to try to impress me or make me like you. And Facebook, so far, is trying too hard. It's trying to be my best friend, and I never like that. It wants to be an indispensable part of my life. And really, it's not actually that good.

It's meant to be easy to use. And it is, very easy to use. So long as you're using it the way Facebook wants you to use it. It's designed so you can easily add your friends to your networks. Unless they have a non-standard (i.e. hotmail or similar) email address.

Easy, easy, easy. That's the main thing about Facebook. It's designed to be easy, and to keep you doing things on Facebook! It doesn't want you to achieve anything else. It wants you to sit there for hours, adding more and more pointless applications, doing little that is different from everyone else on Facebook.

I joined Facebook because it looked like it would be a useful, low-level networking tool in addition to LJ, and it is to some degree. However it does little to stimulate my creative side, because it tries to do everything for me, whether I want it to or not.

Some of the applications are right up my alley. I love the movie one, for instance. And the travel map is great (have I really seen that much of Australia? Wow... What do you fucking mean I can't add Eucla?!), but most of the apps are just silly time-wasters. Again, I don't mind that, but they are specifically designed to be viral.

So, someone gets the "Annoying humourous name generator" application, picks you off their friends list, and gives you an annoying humourous name. The first you know about it is a message telling you that "John Howard has given you an Annoying Humourous Name!" You click to find out what it is... and you're told to install the application first.

Okay, that only takes a moment, literally. Then it brings up a list of your friends and suggests picking some for annoying humourous names - it wants you to spread the app - instead of just telling you what the fuck Howard's saying about you now. After having to click not to pick any of the ten random friends Facebook wants you to infect with the meme, you find out that your humourous name, Cunting Terrorist, is off a standard list. Oh there are options to put in your own humourous name, but they won't have the cute little picture of a terrorist with a gaping chest-wound that looks vaguely like a vagina.

Facebook is fun and easy, and there are definitely applications that do engage your mind, but the majority of them that I've struck so far are just silly viral time-wasters. And I really do resent that on something that makes itself so easy to use, it tries to make you jump through its hoops before you find out what your friend has sent you. You can avoid this, but I haven't found an easy way yet.

When I'm too tired to write, I can still do stuff on Facebook, and therein is lies its seductive nature - You don't have to have an active mind to feel you've accomplished something.

It is a handy tool, no doubt about it. One of the first things I did was to set up a group for Continuum, figuring it would be a handy way of networking and reaching folks. I've already been put in contact with someone I probably wouldn't have seen otherwise, so my prime reason for joining Facebook has already paid off. And no doubt people will point me towards other useful or fun applications.

And I like things like the status indicator, though given that I most enjoy Facebook when I'm tired, I'll have to avoid regularly having status lines like "laying around exhausted," "braindead," and my default state of "bloody horny," or "masturbating furiously."

I also like the "Superlatives" application, though at this point while I may vote for folks who have had stock superlatives attributed to them, I'd rather make up my own for people. I can give each person something individual, and I like that. I was too shy to use "Most likely to make me moan with desire," and "Most likely to have the hottest user picture," but who knows what the future holds. Besides, I can still sms cock to people - one word, a thousand meanings, from the subtle to the gross.

Hey... there's one. Most likely to COCK! Okay, so there is at least one superlative I'll re-use.

But overall, I feel I have to think at least a small amount when I do an LJ post. Even if no-one else expects it of me, I like to try and put a little thought into most posts.

Oh and the one thing I actually found offensive about Facebook? When filling in my profile details, I mentioned I'm married. Facebook wanted to know who I'm married to, so I filled in Sharon's name. She didn't appear in my profile because she's not on Facebook.

It seems that if someone's not on Facebook, they don't exist.

At least, that's what they want you to believe.
Tags: reviews, unimportant but annoying

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