LJ Permanent Account Upgrade
Huh? Oh they must be announcing that they're doing that again. I open it up to see how much it'll cost.
(the following is an anonymous gift)
Your LiveJournal account "dalekboy" has been upgraded to a permanent
It's not a joke, or a mistake, someone has paid a lot of money for me to have a permanent account on here. Anonymously.
Like I'm not already addicted to bloody LJ comments! Like I don't already feel the pressure to write! Like I don't regularly check for comments! Like I don't wake up in the middle of the night and have to resist the urge to check LJ! Why? Why do this?! What have I done to you? Is your life so empty that me talking about how many times I masturbate in a day gives you a feeling of self worth?
Actually... I can see how that one would work...
And I was going to post today about some of the actions of people on here that have hurt me, but now, on the first day of this gift, that seems somewhat churlish. Do you see what you've done?! Affecting my writing? Bastard!
And you've done this anonymously, so I can't track you down and beat you like a red-headed step-child!*
I've been planning a post on gifts since Tracy died. I've been given a number of gifts over the last few months, some physical, some not, but no less substantial for their lack of physicality. So when I do the post on gifts and I mention the permanent account, just remember, I was doing the post before this happened! This is just another thing to be mentioned.
Yeah, and the title for this piece? See? See what your money has bought? Such insightful and clever writing. Wit? Never heard of it!
Well, now you're going to suffer, and you've punished everyone else along with you. How many people are gunna thank you for more pictures of my bare arse? How many are going to say "Oh joy, Danny's posted about how he hates going to the toilet!"
Well, now you have to live with your mistake.
And oh, how you will suffer...
*or in the case of you turning out to be someone I fancy, allowing me the opportunity to turn this around and say that I can't accept the gift unless we shag a few times, you know, to really show my appreciation...