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Fuck me! [Jun. 22nd, 2007|11:34 am]
dalekboy
[Tags|, ]
[mood |gratefulsecretly grateful]

So, I'm not too headachey today, and so was able to drive mum into Belco for her diabetes appointment thingy. I come home and find a note from the post office to say that two boxes of stock have arrived from the US. I keep transferring data off the new (and problematic) PC and onto my 8 year old but much more reliable machine. I check the shop email, have heard back from the two customers whose orders I buggered up - both have been gracious. I check my regular mail...

LJ Permanent Account Upgrade

Huh? Oh they must be announcing that they're doing that again. I open it up to see how much it'll cost.

(the following is an anonymous gift)

Your LiveJournal account "dalekboy" has been upgraded to a permanent
account.


It's not a joke, or a mistake, someone has paid a lot of money for me to have a permanent account on here. Anonymously.

You Bastard!

Like I'm not already addicted to bloody LJ comments! Like I don't already feel the pressure to write! Like I don't regularly check for comments! Like I don't wake up in the middle of the night and have to resist the urge to check LJ! Why? Why do this?! What have I done to you? Is your life so empty that me talking about how many times I masturbate in a day gives you a feeling of self worth?

Actually... I can see how that one would work...

And I was going to post today about some of the actions of people on here that have hurt me, but now, on the first day of this gift, that seems somewhat churlish. Do you see what you've done?! Affecting my writing? Bastard!

And you've done this anonymously, so I can't track you down and beat you like a red-headed step-child!*

I've been planning a post on gifts since Tracy died. I've been given a number of gifts over the last few months, some physical, some not, but no less substantial for their lack of physicality. So when I do the post on gifts and I mention the permanent account, just remember, I was doing the post before this happened! This is just another thing to be mentioned.

Yeah, and the title for this piece? See? See what your money has bought? Such insightful and clever writing. Wit? Never heard of it!

Well, now you're going to suffer, and you've punished everyone else along with you. How many people are gunna thank you for more pictures of my bare arse? How many are going to say "Oh joy, Danny's posted about how he hates going to the toilet!"

Well, now you have to live with your mistake.

And oh, how you will suffer...




*or in the case of you turning out to be someone I fancy, allowing me the opportunity to turn this around and say that I can't accept the gift unless we shag a few times, you know, to really show my appreciation...
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: kaths
2007-06-22 02:31 am (UTC)
LOL how dare somebody be nice to you when you are, you know, such a bastard to everyone :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2007-06-22 03:02 am (UTC)
It'll undo all my work to maintain a cynical demeanor.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: angriest
2007-06-22 02:40 am (UTC)
What the hell have people done on here to hurt you?

Are you naming names?

(insecurity rises)

Is it me? It's something I said about Colin Baker, isn't it?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: callistra
2007-06-22 02:56 am (UTC)
I doubt it's you but I'm desperate to know too
:-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: dcrisp
2007-06-22 02:44 am (UTC)
You UNGRATEFULL SOD!
You BASTARD!
You GRINCH!
You Compleate and Utter PRICK!
You ARSEHOLE!
Gee what I would give to have friends that did that sort of thing for me!
SOD YOU!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2007-06-22 03:05 am (UTC)
Stop sucking up to me, I'm not gunna sleep with you until you start to wash.
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From: gutter_monkey
2007-06-22 02:58 am (UTC)
HA HA HA

Now the culprit will never own up!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2007-06-22 03:06 am (UTC)
It was you, wasn't it!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: cheshirenoir
2007-06-22 03:38 am (UTC)
I wonder.

Another "medium profile" LJ user I read just got gifted the same way. I wonder if SixApart is "free upgrading" more popular blogs just to hang on to the readers...
(Reply) (Thread)
From: chaosmanor
2007-06-22 04:07 am (UTC)
'Dear SixApart

Look at the size of my flist, look at the traffic on my lj. Gimme a free account.

Chaos'
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: arcadiagt5
2007-06-22 03:41 am (UTC)
Damn. Someone beat me to it...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2007-06-22 04:25 am (UTC)
You're just after the sex!
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[User Picture]From: rendragon
2007-06-23 04:30 pm (UTC)
Just thinking the same thing....
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: stephbg
2007-06-22 04:00 am (UTC)
Like I'm not already addicted to bloody LJ comments! Like I don't already feel the pressure to write! Like I don't regularly check for comments! Like I don't wake up in the middle of the night and have to resist the urge to check LJ!

I'm with you there brother. How about you comment on mine and I'll comment on yours?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dalekboy
2007-06-22 04:29 am (UTC)
I promise nothing! But only because I'm so utterly crap at reading and replying on people's journals it's not funny.

I just hate my comment addiction.
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