Mate, I am in awe of your courage, your ability to keep going, and your sense of perspective.
Hope that things get better soon and bring you the happiness you deserve.
OK, call me a dittohead if you want but this sums up my feelings exactly. Hang in there!
> I'm not sure if these ironies are like the ones from that song Isn't it Ironic? where the irony was there was no real irony in the song
No no no no, that's the point. The fact that none of the examples in the song are actually ironic is itself ironic. This means that the song is meta-ironic. Alanis Morrisette is a genius.
and God, don't forget that.
Isn't it ironic that the loveliest, most giving people are the ones who suffer the most and worst loss. I think Alanis needs to live a bit more to be able to comment on actual ironic situations.
Eg I never thought about having kids until my choice and ability were severely hampered.
I think you two are doing fine thanks to your strength and the fact you've been open about it. People don't realise how important those traits are until they need them personally.
Isn't it ironic? ;)
Alanis had to star in You Can't Do That On Television. Surely she has suffered enough...
You might not know that I have been trying to have a kid, using donated sperm. There is an unbelievable wait list as hardly anyone donates.
After waiting a year I secured my own donor - it's just coming out of quarantine at 18 months. It's been a horrible, horrible, endless wait before I can even begin trying to conceive.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you how much I admire people who donate sperm. There is such a horrible, horrible Australia wide shortage and the entire donation system has pretty much ceased to function.
I am so sorry, though, about the timing for your own life.
This isn't very coherent because it means so much to me.
This comment has just been the focus of a long telephone conversation between Lee and myself. Years ago I decided I wanted to be an egg donor. But, I'm too old (apparently). So I let it go. Reading this I emailed Lee, he called me, we're going on-line tonight to look into it. I would love for Lee to do something like this and fortunately he feels like it's something he could do. I'm just picturing all these SF fans and writers putting their sperm out there and in twenty years seeing the fandom/writing ranks swell :)
When I lost my baby, the first thing anyone asked was "Are you going to try again?" The answer was yes, we just had to wait for one normal period before doing so. My next period was fine so we tried again. I fell pregnant first go and we were so excited. Looking back though I think we should have waited three months. I still wasn't emotionally or physically strong and suffered a lot of fear for those nine months. Due to the recent miscarriage I bled on and off up until 6 months, which meant many hospitalisations. By the end of it I was a nervous wreck.
You are showing remarkable strength in all this, but give yourselves time to heal. Little things are going to make you hurt, especially memories like this one.
I just had a thought about the comment I made. I didn't mean that I'm the lovely, giving person. I meant you both. I'm a bitch! You guys are wonderful!
Just thought I'd clear that up.
I find you totally loveable. Like Sully in Monsters, Inc :)
Over here, sperm donation can't be done anonymously any more - and the number of donors has dropped right away. Is it the same in Oz ?
Yup, plus we had other issues.
Big post in the next few days, honest :)
Don't feel any pressure to post about donation quickly. It's an intresting subject but will still be interesting when you are strong enough to write about it.
I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriage - it's not fair that people who are so generous to others have such things happen to them. Like stephen_dedman says, hope you get the happiness you deserve soon.
I thought about donating an egg a few years ago - heading towards 40 childless does that to you - but like battblush I was too old (35 is the cutoff in the UK - same here?). Given how desperate people are for the eggs maybe the authorities should rethink this guidance - I imagine they're screened after harvesting to verify they're good quality?
Eggs are harder to screen for quality than sperm - mainly because sperm swim around and that can give you an idea of how they are :) Plus each egg produced is a potential child (well, half of), whereas out of one lot of sperm, it doesn't matter if a lot of them are dodgy, as long as there's a few good ones.
The only real way to test for age-related problems is to do a genetic test after fertilisation, which is very expensive and can stop it developing further.
Well mate, you got the gong and to be truthful, I nominated you. Not for fiction, but for the awesome honesty of your livejournal postings and the quality of the writings in them. No irony intended. :)