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Was that a snap? [Apr. 7th, 2012|08:38 pm]
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Well, I'm feeling pretty fucking broken right now. Heard today that my aunty died, so that's three deaths in a smidge over a month. Not really strong enough for that at the moment. I can tell how far gone I am - I was slightly late for my one panel!

No seriously, I hate being late, so the fact I was tells me how far gone I am. And though I tried to prepare enough to offset my physically and emotionally exhausted state (I had notes! Dot points, even!) I was all over the place in my explanations and over-long. Oh well, will do a proper write up on the Colin Baker Doctor for dalekboy.com.

Had the sense to post to twitter warning people that I'm not to be trusted, that in fact no matter how good I appear to be, I am in fact completely broken right now. If I'm around other people I will automatically switch on. If I'm switched on, I'll be busily fooling both those around me and myself that I'm not great, but coping.

And I'm so not coping right now. Not close. Talking and laughing with a mate downstairs earlier and I could feel the hysterical edge to my laughter.

Thank you to everyone who has sent condolences. Not going to get around to replying to you probably at all, but I really do appreciate it, truly and deeply.

I've also been sent ASCII nipples, and been directed to some almost nudes of a fabulous friend. these things made me smile. I like smiles, they seems few and far between at the moment.

Love the masquerade, but probably won't go to it tonight. Shame, was looking forward to taking lots of exciting pictures to send to TLex.

Oh well, suppose I'll be heading to Melbourne for the funeral after I get back.
I so need a two month solo Nullabor trip right now.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kaths
2012-04-07 01:00 pm (UTC)

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Oh FFS. Sorry to hear it. Glad you're able to at least communicate how broken you are, hopefully people can at least offer you some sticky tape for some temporary holding together...
From: (Anonymous)
2012-04-07 02:42 pm (UTC)

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Thinking of you Danny!

I didn't get a chance to speak with you today, just a quick hello in passing.
I hope the rest of the 'con goes well for you and I am sorry to hear of your loss!

Warm regards

Neil
[User Picture]From: oothoona
2012-04-07 08:56 pm (UTC)

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Much love.
[User Picture]From: murasaki_1966
2012-04-07 09:56 pm (UTC)

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Oh, Danny, I'm sorry. I hope things improve soon.
[User Picture]From: mortonhall
2012-04-07 10:42 pm (UTC)

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My thoughts are with you and your family Danny.

A very good friend of ours passed away last weekend (we've just been told). The funeral is in Perth and we can't get there.

I wish there was something I could do to make it better for everyone.
[User Picture]From: dreamer_easy
2012-04-07 11:22 pm (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: drhoz
2012-04-07 11:30 pm (UTC)

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my condolences :(
[User Picture]From: sjkasabi
2012-04-08 03:32 am (UTC)

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Oh dear :(

All my sympathy and best wishes for what will be a very hard time. Lots of love.
[User Picture]From: mfg9999
2012-04-09 10:30 am (UTC)

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Not good.

Take the time you need to grieve, there's no hurry.

You have my sympathy.
[User Picture]From: lilysea
2012-04-09 11:00 am (UTC)

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Just saw this now. So sorry to hear it. :(

Thinking of you. Wishing you comfort.
[User Picture]From: mireille21
2012-04-09 12:32 pm (UTC)

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Don't really know what to say Danny.

And yet, "Cock!" seems so appropriate - a single word that can convey a thousand ideas.
[User Picture]From: transcendancing
2012-04-09 03:07 pm (UTC)

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I am so sorry for your loss and for your feeling of brokenness. Thinking gently in your direction.