||[Jul. 1st, 2009|11:50 am]
I've had an interesting few weeks, in the good way. My headaches stopped about a week/week-and-a-half ago, and I've gotten a lot done in that time.
Amongst other things, I made space in the library for Sharon's desk and computer, and moved it all so that we now no longer have a computer room but Lex has a bedroom. Lex also now claps when he hears the word 'clap,' and he seems to be enjoying swimming.
Working with the wonderful arcadiagt5, we've gotten the Chronos Awards sorted, and will be announcing the nominees as soon as we've gotten a couple of small details confirmed. And the awards are being designed and made by two fabulously talented folks in the special effects/model-making field, so they should be nice.
I've fixed the ceiling fan in the bathroom, been visited by some good friends, and sent out surprise presents to a small handful of others. Plus, I'm doing some fun panels at the upcoming Continuum 5, and I was able to justify the purchase of the original Night Stalker series, and seasons 1 & 2 of Supernatural for a panel I have planned for C6! These fall outside my yearly budget of $100 for DVDs, because I basically need them for research, so huge bonus (paid for out of shop profits, rather than household budget)!
So, why did I wake up so dreadfully depressed this morning? I mean seriously, why? It's one of the nastiest blue periods I had in ages, and I can think of no reason for it. But when I cracked open my eyes today, all I wanted to do was stay curled in a ball in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. Which is the worst thing you can do when depressed, I know. Best thing is to stay active, and fortunately I have a small child, and so can't avoid that :)
It's the annoying thing about depression, the fact that knowing you have no reason to feel this way doesn't help. You can't logic your way out. I remember Spike Milligan talking about how, when you're depressed, you're not the same person anymore, things don't work the same for you in that state as they do when you're not depressed.
And it's interesting because I can look at the list of stuff above, and the huge chunk of things that I couldn't be bothered popping into the list, and know that in this mindset they don't count for a fucking thing. The only things that count are the negatives, most of them small or entirely understandable. I'm not going to bother listing them, comparing the two lists would do no good, and mentioning them would only make me feel more dreadful.
Not after pity, in fact, pity and virtual hugs will only shit me and make me want to rip out your eyes and piss in the sockets. Just ranting, basically.